


She Was With Me

by imthetitanic



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Eulogies, Guns, Multi, POV Multiple, Sorry Not Sorry, Wakes & Funerals, Winter Soldier Peggy Carter, this is awful and i do not apologize
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthetitanic/pseuds/imthetitanic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy fell, not Bucky. Now, when Bucky has died (old age), Steve has to give a eulogy. The Winter Soldier takes advantage of this distraction. </p><p>aka the fic that won't stop hurting my soul</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Was With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is terribly awful and I'm still sad about it, so don't read if you don't like character death. Please. 
> 
> Also, this isn't my primary fandom, and I apologize if they're out of character. I tried my best.

When she realizes she’s bigger and stronger, her first thought is _I’m like him now._ She doesn’t know who she’s thinking of, and dismisses the thought. It makes her sad, and she knows better than to be sad. 

When she’s sent to kill a dark-haired man and his wife, she doesn’t hesitate until she sees his face. A brief second later, more than she should have given, she shoots, and the car goes off the road. She doesn’t stay for the aftermath.

She’s handed a picture of a tall blonde man. She recognizes him too, just as she recognized the light-haired man, and hears old music playing in the back of her mind. She says nothing, lips forming into a tight line as her gear is handed to her and she takes off into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~

Steve had held Bucky’s hand as it went cold. He had felt the life go out of the man. And he had been angry. This wasn’t how everything was supposed to end. They were supposed to grow old together. Steve wished now that he hadn’t been part of Project Rebirth…or wished Bucky had been injected as well. After everything that had happened in the war, didn’t they deserve a happy ending?

Apparently not.

The Avengers were in attendance, Natasha standing next to the podium while the rest sat in folding chairs. Sam was seated in the center of the row. They had known Bucky too, but not as Steve had known him. Not even Sam, though he tried to understand, holding Steve at night while he shook with tears over Bucky, rubbing his back while he cried, “Till the end of the line.” Steve would be grateful for that. And where was Steve? At the podium. Summoning the courage to give a eulogy for Bucky Barnes. 

“Bucky…” he managed to finally choke out, staring intently at the paper, “…was a third of me.” There, now he could look up, meeting Sam’s dark, mournful eyes. “Before the war, before I was Captain America, before any of this,” he gestured down at himself, “he defended me. I looked up to him. I still do.” Sam nodded, giving Steve a dose of encouragement he desperately needed. He flipped the paper over. He didn’t need to read the words on a paper. That was too artificial to give to Bucky. “He…he promised me ‘till the end of the line.’ And he stayed, and he stayed, and he stayed, but now?”

Steve was in tears now. He gasped out, “This isn’t how it was supposed to be!”, before folding in on himself, head in hands on the podium. 

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He knew it was Sam, could smell the man’s cologne, cinnamon and cardamom, but couldn’t summon the strength to look up at him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Natasha saw her first, a dark haired figure lowering to the ground. The glint of metal in the sun against the grass. Sniper.

She didn’t think. A beat passed, and she was leaping in front of the podium, where Steve had his head in his hands, crying. Not that she blamed him. She wouldn’t blame him, not even when she felt the tell-tale bite of a bullet in her chest, over her heart. She only faintly registered that she landed on top of Bucky’s body.

Clint was there in a moment, gripping her hand tightly and murmuring to her something about everything being okay. She knew it wasn’t, knew she was dying, could feel the rest of the Avengers grouping around the coffin, not to pay their last respects to Bucky Barnes, but to her. Their faces swam in her vision. Steve Rogers let out a strangled yell somewhere in the distance. It sounded like “Peggy.” He appeared by her side, brushed her fingers with his own, and ran. 

She heard Sam shouting after him, but everything was fuzzy. She didn’t like it to be fuzzy, so she closed her eyes. Everything was clearer that way.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Damn it, Steve!” Sam yelled after him, but the other man was too late…Steve was running. That woman looked like Peggy. And she had tried to shoot him. And had shot Natasha. No, it couldn’t be Peggy, Steve knew. Peggy would never do that…and why did she look the same?

He couldn’t remember running faster than this, not even during the war. Grass and rocks flew under his feet, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t gaining on her. 

A couple of times he looked behind him. Sam was running, but falling behind quickly, and the rest of them were doing the same. A thunderbolt shook the earth…Thor, flying. Clint was the only one he couldn’t see, and when he faced front again, he understood why. 

He was finally gaining on the woman. He pushed himself harder, nearly tripping over a large rock that he jumped at the last second. 

It wasn’t until he was within an arm’s reach of the figure that he remembered she had a gun…and he didn’t even have his shield. That didn’t really matter, though. If she was Peggy, she had shot Natasha in an attempt to kill him. The third that had been lost, the third he had loved as much as he had loved Bucky. She would have attempted to kill him. If that was Peggy. If she was, did Steve really want to live after that?

He didn’t allow himself more time to ponder that line of thought before he tackled the woman and pinned her to the ground faceup. “Peggy?” It was her, down to her strong jawline and red lipstick. 

“Who the hell is Peggy?” came the response. Even her accent was intact. Steve felt his heart rip again. 

She broke free of his restraint and flipped them so she was on top, straddling Steve with his wrists above his head. Without a word, she pulled a handgun from a boot holster Steve hadn’t noticed and held the cold metal against the left side of Steve’s chest, just over his heart He made an effort to free his hands, but he was well aware he wasn’t giving it a real effort. His heart had already been broken today. He held her dark eyes while she squeezed the trigger.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thor was there when Sam finally made it, breathing heavily, to where Steve lay on the grass. He was still breathing when Sam knelt beside him, pulling the blonde man’s head onto his thighs and stroking his hair. “Steve, you with me?”

The blood was still running out of him. Sam knew a mortal wound when he saw one. 

Steve managed a weak nod. “I’m sorry,” he near-whispered. 

Sam shook his head, “No. You have nothing to apologize for. Not now, and not ever. I understand.” Sam just hoped Steve didn’t think he was just trying to comfort him. He had lost Bucky too…and though he hadn’t known the older man nearly as long as Steve had, he had been excellent friends with Steve’s other lover. And now Peggy, whom he knew was Steve’s great lost love, was trying to kill him.

It looked like she had succeeded.

Sam pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips, holding back tears. He stayed there until Steve stopped responding. His blue eyes were glassy, and Sam swiped his fingers over them to close them. No one approached him for a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~

She gives her gear back to the men. “He’s dead.” She hears the sorrow in her voice. He had recognized her as a woman named Peggy. He was so sad. She relays as much. They should know what happened. She says, “A red-haired woman jumped in front of him the first time I shot. She was killed.”

The men share a glance. “Agent Romanov. Good. One less thing to worry about.” 

She persists. “He knew me.” She ponders a moment. “I think I knew him, too.”

“Wipe her.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!!


End file.
